MEN AND THEIR TAILS

As my readers must know by now, I get inspiration for my articles from any and everywhere. The ideas just keep flowing from clients and from observing the public at large. I was recently at the gym and saw a personal trainer working with his client. They both looked happy with themselves, then I zeroed in on what was supposed to be a PONYTAIL.

So what’s the scoop with men and ponytails? And why do so many men still feel it’s a hair fashion that must live on? Don't get me wrong. There are many, many men with long hair that’s just damn sexy, but that’s another article. After my research, I have broken down this backward-looking fashion into three periods.

THE 80s
This is the GMT. (No, not Greenwich mean time) It’s the Gay Man’s Tail.

The men in this group are generally in their mid-30s to late 40s and are caught in a tailspin of 80s fashion accented by a PT (ponytail). These men are generally blessed with a full head of hair, so they stretch that baby till "thy kingdom come" into a tight low tail that's never too long. This usually conjures up a box shaped
suit from the 80s (padded shoulders) with a tight black shirt underneath and pointed shoes. Sometimes, there is over groomed facial hair and eyebrows -- and a look of too much confidence on their faces. Have you seen one recently? I have!

THE 60s AND 70s

Call it the HT -- for Hippie Tail.

Picture this: heterosexual man with hair past the shoulders in a chewed elastic band that has not been brushed since the flower-power days. They are generally in their 50s, wearing a long sleeved shirt tucked into their jeans. The jeans never fit right, and then they top it off with a pair of sneakers – ones that are a little weather beaten from all those protest marches.

ANY DECADE

The Po-Tail

This is just plain old wrong!! It’s when the pony tail is holding on for dear life. And there’s nothing on top -- and by nothing, I mean NO HAIR! If you don’t see anything from the front, what’s the point? Is it for the people standing in line behind you?

If you have a special man in your life who has been cursed by the PT, I recommend grabbing a pair of scissors and relieving him of that blood-sucking extension at the back of his head. He’ll thank you, and so will I.

Men, I wish you great hair!

Copyright © 2009 Antonio Gonzales, All Rights Reserved